In this Earth Mate Talk, Katherine and Ruriko talk about Japanese humbleness.
- Ruriko: So, what do you think about Japanese humbleness? Do you think it's too much?
- Katherine: Well, I think it's good not to be full of yourself, but sometimes humbleness can go a little too far.
- R: I guess you're referring to the Japanese people you know. Can you talk about any recent experiences?
- K: One of my students, Chieko, recently had a project for drama class where she had to make a list of what she was and was not. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that she had written that she was not smart and that she was not pretty. I think she's a really pretty, smart girl. I don't think she has self-esteem problems, so I think she was just being humble.
- R: Katherine, you know what? I grew up in Japan. That's standard. Japanese people always want to put themselves down so that somebody who is listening can tell you, “Oh, no, you're pretty!”
- K: So it's fishing for compliments?
- R: It's just a different style. Interesting, huh?
- K: It's so different. An American girl, even if she didn't think she was very pretty or smart, would never put that down. She would focus on her strengths instead.
- R: Yeah, that's why when Japanese people move here, they have a difficult time making friends. To Americans, it doesn't make sense to try and be friends with someone who puts themselves down. It's because Americans admire people who have positive attitudes.
- K: Yeah, I think that it's not because they are not being positive, but -
- R: Yeah, Katherine. It's not just that but it's a different style of communicating.
- K: Yeah, yeah.
- R: And I think for Chieko, she is in the middle of being an American and a Japanese. ‘Cause sometimes I hear some things that are very positive from her. You know, Chieko is in high school, and both in American and Japanese high school and middle schools, it's tough. Making friends is difficult. Friends are in groups and it can be hard to get into the group. It's the same in America and in Japan.
- K: I've heard that the Japanese are very group-oriented, but I know that here, at least in middle and high school, your social life is structured around which group you are with.
- R: So, Katherine, what to remember is to be positive and don' t ever put yourself down if you want to make new friends in America.
- K: Yeah, keep positive and open minded, and you might just make a new friend.
- R: Stay tuned! Next we're going to talk about American fashion.